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American Elves - The Yankoos

American Elves -- The Yankoos by Robert Frieder Yankoos Publishing Co., Sun City, AZ, 1995
	The Yankoo series of books is designed to educate young children about nature. The Yankoos live in an all male culture and although a great deal is unknown about them, there remains some question regarding their sexual orientation. Yankoos can milk a cow standing up. Next Back to the top
Lester is an un-Irish looking elf mailman with spectacles and a Cyranoed-proboscis. His route is through a forest. There is little question that Lester is not real. No one can be that short. He's the same size sitting or standing. The world looks different to him inside a crowded elevator. Looks as if he has found a sunflower. He will eat the seeds but does not like the taste. Lester likes to spit out the seeds as an avocation. Next Back to the top
	Lester introduces us to some azaleas and a wolf spider. We learn about the spider and how she hunts, what she eats, and how she parents her offspring. Here the spiderlings are busting out of their egg sac. Lester wonders why so many are born, as there does not seem to be enough food for all of them. However, Nature balances these problems for many of them die. The may be captured and used in laboratories, transported to zoos, become road kill, drowned in water spouts (especially itsy bitsy ones). Many commit suicide. Next Back to the top
We are introduced to Pierre the Yankoo chef and three other elves. Pierre has an Eatery in the forest. Business is good as Pierre runs a monopoly. When he is not cooking, Pierre describes the habits of a chipmunk, and a fox, with details on their habits and how they survive. Pierre the chef tells where he gets his food. There is Bruno, the baker, Icabod, the fisherman, and Zeb supplies Pierre with his vegetables. Most of the time Pierre makes soup as it is inexpensive and each day he adds something to the pot of soup. This is as not legal as it is unsanitary. It doesn't matter much as none of these elves are legal anyhow. Next Back to the top
	The jowl-stuffed chipmunk stores acorns on both sides of its mouth and two in his front teeth. In this manner, he is able to forage for a shorter period of time and not make himself vulnerable to the ravages of the hungry fox or swooping hawks. The chipmunk stands on its hind legs and whistles. This is a danger call and the other chipmunks scamper. The Red Fox is about and the chipmunk has to run up a tree or dive into its hole in the ground. The chipmunk can also climb a tree but the Red Fox cannot. This is not true of the Gray Fox, however, for he is an excellent tree climber. Next Back to the top
This is Methuselah, a wild turkey. The first turkeys were not wild. It was only after they found out people were going to kill them that they got wild. Some are very tough. When these tough turkeys are put in the oven, some blow out the pilot light. The male is the one that gobbles. It gobbles for two reasons: 1. To attract a female, and 2. When it runs out of cough syrup. If you cross a turkey with a cat you get a pussy gobbler. Much like a peacock, the male spreads its feathers to impress the hens. Oddly the hen is very plain looking. She is a good mother. The Puritans celebrated Thanksgiving because they were saved from the Indians. We celebrate it today because we were saved from the Puritans. Next Back to the top
	On his mail route, Lester describes the combs of bees, and the nests of hornets and details about butterflies and mushrooms. There is a lot of detailed information in this section, especially about the metamorphosis of the caterpillar. Lester visits Rufus the weatherman and Rufus is studying the clouds. He wonders why God didn’t make snow fall up instead of down and how come a snow bank is never overdrawn? Lester can't answer those questions, either. Next Back to the top